trouble sleeping

I am having trouble sleeping
Again and again,night and night,I can’t go asleep ,I don’t know what to do,and what I should do,I just keep thinking all the time ,I am tired,real tired,but how I can stop this stupid life.sometimes I want to say something to someone who knows about me ,but to whom? I can not say a word.the things that happen to me make me crazy,all I am going to be is incomplete,I try to change myself and change my life, but it doesn’t works,I lose control.
Everyday I walk , I don’t know where I want to go,sometimes I just keep walking until I feel tired and then turn back, I want to run far away,to find a place to hide myself. Maybe I am waiting for my goddess to rescue me .but this can not be ture. Lots of times I want to give up,but I care him,her,them,all the people and things around me,I real care.real want them to be happy.but me,who cares?who?wanna tell me how to live my life,who?wanna give me a hand,who?can help me try to understand.who?wanna tell me how to face the problems.I know that no one but me can save myself,but how?is it too late? Things are not used to be,including myself.Ido not want to be leaved alone,I do not want to be dropped away,I shout,I cry,but nobody hears me .
I destroy myself,Idestroy whole my life,I am a loser,I still have lots more to work on.....

生活抖动着

一个鸡扒面,一杯姜乐,对我来说算是一顿丰食,起码在这可以让我感觉到安静,这里来过几次了?还能来几次?眼底下的时间越来越少了,总觉得不够时间用,一天除去睡觉,吃饭,上厕所,洗澡,洗衣服,发呆,胡思乱想.....-_-!!时间没了.这阵子睡眠很糟,常常半夜醒过来,常常做恶梦.随着冷空气之后,下了几次毛毛细雨,这些有意无意的信息都在提醒我冬天已经到了,伴随去年熟悉而陌生的感觉,有人跟我说,都一年了你还放不下啊?我没有回答.因为我心里知道这一年来没有一天我不去想,一天也没有,我果然是个活在过去的人.读了这么多年的书，突然快要没得读了，真不敢想象自己以后会活成怎么样，内心压抑得很，快醒过了吧，我已没多少时间了．
其实我要的只是很简单.

终于病了

咳嗽,口腔溃疡,重感冒
也许是我太久没病了
也许一年多,也许两年多,也许还要久一点
这次要全部补回来
现在更能深刻地体会到自生自灭的意思
只想快点熬过去....